I don’t remember the first time I felt anxious. I experienced it from such a young age but only realised decades later that it was social anxiety. At the time, I just felt terrified. Often. To family and friends, I was just, “very shy and sensitive”.
I’ve spent most of my adult life ‘fighting’ anxiety and trying not to feel it. Whether it was worrying about ‘doing the wrong thing’ in my career, or feeling anxious about what would happen in the future, I would try to fight it with zen-like concentration. Trying not to feel it. Trying not to worry.
I’ve now learnt that this was not the right way to deal with anxiety. When we have feelings we don’t want, it’s natural to fight them. We can also analyse what has caused our anxiety, how it started, how it affects us, etc. All this analysis and effort can keep us trapped and that exacerbates our anxiety.
The best way to deal with anxiety is to do NOTHING! We can accept the discomfort of anxious feelings in our body and let them be there. It may seem more ‘right’ to talk at length and explore the many strategies for ‘managing’ our anxiety, but allowing it to be there causes it to dissipate quicker.
We can’t control our thoughts and feelings about the future, but when they cause us anxious sensations in our body, we can CHOOSE how we respond. If we can perceive our anxiety as merely a feeling of ‘unease’, it will lessen. Our heart rate and breathing slow down and our mind becomes calmer.
The best strategy for learning to do this, is to practise Mindfulness. When we feel the sensations that we now associate with anxiety – unease, heart rate quickening and tension throughout our body, we can remind ourselves not to fight it by wishing it away. We can repeat a phrase to ourselves, like “Accept and allow”, sit it out and observe it as it eventually stops trying to bother us.
I now practise this regularly and I am mostly anxiety-free as a result so hopefully you will be too. We don’t need to ‘work hard to manage or eliminate anxiety’, we can consider it a guest, albeit not our favourite one, make it a cuppa and wait politely for it to leave. Then we will be happy again.
If anxiety is troubling you at night and you need something to help you sleep, please do try my free ‘Sleep Meditation’ and share it with anyone you know who’s struggling with Insomnia. If you sign up, I’ll also let you know when I’m launching my latest course: SLEEP PEACEFULLY, WAKE JOYFULLY.
If you would like help to apply Mindfulness to your personal situation or circumstance, drop me an email on: juliet@mindfulnessconsultant.co.uk or send me a message on Facebook.com/JoyArises